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January Review
Mar. 1st, 2023 09:53 pmI’ve been in the habit of setting New Year’s Resolutions since I was a teenager. I suppose for someone like me, constantly riddled with anxiety about whether or not I’m inhabiting the best version of myself, the beginning of a new year has been an opportunity to evaluate my perceived shortcomings in the previous one, and then make a promise to myself to work on them.
However, this year such a task felt pointless and even cruel. Throughout 2022, I considered how I view myself and in particular the strict criticism I put myself through. It’s in my nature. I’m very self-serious and introspective, to the point that I often fall so far into the depths of my inner world that the practicalities of reality fall away, and I spiral into self-doubt.
As a result, I wanted 2023 to be a year without resolutions. Instead, I invited myself to embrace curiosity and pleasure. If I did make resolutions, I made them loosely. For example, I wanted to do yoga every day in January, and I did accomplish that. I also want to read and write more. These are general, but manageable, and I’ve done a lot in 2022 to build up my confidence in achieving these goals without treating them like massive life changes that I must stick to or else I’ve failed, again.
In the spirit of reading more in 2023 (and writing…), I’ve decided to write monthly reviews/retrospective of the books and fanfiction I’ve read, as well as highlighting any music, films, TV, or other media/art that I’ve been fixated on in each month. This is part of a larger project of cultivating my personal tastes, strengthening my critical thinking skills, and thinking more purposefully about the kinds of stories and art that I’m drawn to, that inspire me, and that I want to make myself.
As a kid, all I did in my free time was read books, but as I grew older I read less and less, to the point that last year I only read 4-5 books total. I think partially I replaced books with fanfiction, which is still reading. But, at least for me, I’m much more fulfilled and inspired when I read fanfiction and other literature in tandem. I think it pushes me to think productively about form and genre, how fic and traditional literature take from one another, when they overlap, what their strengths and weaknesses are, how they each achieve their goals, etc. What I want more of in 2023 is variety, and I want to read with intention.
These reviews will be casual and definitely a bit long-winded because I’m doing them firstly for the purpose of organizing my thoughts and practicing writing more regularly. I want to have a space to write about my interests without feeling like every word and thought has to be manicured and polished. And of course, I would be more than happy if anything I write sparks outside conversation. I am very scared and anxious these days, and the most important way I’m combating those feelings is by appreciating art and sharing it with others.
BOOKS
The theme this month (something I think will extend to every month) has been finally reading things that I, for some reason or another, put off for way too long. Particularly, I have been reevaluating my lifelong fascination with horror and trying to articulate why I’m drawn to it, in what contexts it excites me, terrifies me, disgusts me. When am I impressed by a horror film, book, image? And when do I think it falls flat, and why? What purpose does horror serve for me? As both a creator and a lover of art.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
FANFICTION
I read a few great fics at the end of December/early January, but being that I’ve struggled to publish this review until March lol, I’m only going to highlight one fic in great detail. For the other two, please take my ao3 reviews as commentary and recommendation.
( Read more... )
Song of the Month
BOOM by NCT Dream
On January 9th, Liz and I went to NCT 127’s concert in Chicago and it strongly reinvigorated my interest in NCT at large. I’ve been an on-again off-again fan since 2018, and as I re-listened to songs I hadn’t heard in a while I remembered Boom. That addictive pre-chorus alternating between Chenle/Haechan and then Haechan/Renjun reminds me of a SHINee song structure, in that Jongyu often alternate significant pre-chorus parts with similar melodies. I feel the same way about the bridge, which just gives me chills. Haechan’s part especially makes me think of Jonghyun, and I’ve been comparing their voices a lot lately as I’ve listened to NCT more frequently. They both have a unique vocal color/style and the innate ability to project their voices, take center stage, and inflect every verse with emotionality.
Wrap-up
Now that I’ve finally finished this review…let’s hope the next one is a lot shorter or else I will continue to be a month behind! Overall, in January I made a lot of personal progress with my reading goals for this year. Although I didn’t write any of my own fiction, I felt inspired by what I read and took a critical look at how what I read impacted me intellectually and emotionally. February was a bit different and challenging, but every month (and every day really) is the opportunity to discover and enjoy something new, so that’s the mindset I’m carrying with me into March and into the writing process of my February review. :)
However, this year such a task felt pointless and even cruel. Throughout 2022, I considered how I view myself and in particular the strict criticism I put myself through. It’s in my nature. I’m very self-serious and introspective, to the point that I often fall so far into the depths of my inner world that the practicalities of reality fall away, and I spiral into self-doubt.
As a result, I wanted 2023 to be a year without resolutions. Instead, I invited myself to embrace curiosity and pleasure. If I did make resolutions, I made them loosely. For example, I wanted to do yoga every day in January, and I did accomplish that. I also want to read and write more. These are general, but manageable, and I’ve done a lot in 2022 to build up my confidence in achieving these goals without treating them like massive life changes that I must stick to or else I’ve failed, again.
In the spirit of reading more in 2023 (and writing…), I’ve decided to write monthly reviews/retrospective of the books and fanfiction I’ve read, as well as highlighting any music, films, TV, or other media/art that I’ve been fixated on in each month. This is part of a larger project of cultivating my personal tastes, strengthening my critical thinking skills, and thinking more purposefully about the kinds of stories and art that I’m drawn to, that inspire me, and that I want to make myself.
As a kid, all I did in my free time was read books, but as I grew older I read less and less, to the point that last year I only read 4-5 books total. I think partially I replaced books with fanfiction, which is still reading. But, at least for me, I’m much more fulfilled and inspired when I read fanfiction and other literature in tandem. I think it pushes me to think productively about form and genre, how fic and traditional literature take from one another, when they overlap, what their strengths and weaknesses are, how they each achieve their goals, etc. What I want more of in 2023 is variety, and I want to read with intention.
These reviews will be casual and definitely a bit long-winded because I’m doing them firstly for the purpose of organizing my thoughts and practicing writing more regularly. I want to have a space to write about my interests without feeling like every word and thought has to be manicured and polished. And of course, I would be more than happy if anything I write sparks outside conversation. I am very scared and anxious these days, and the most important way I’m combating those feelings is by appreciating art and sharing it with others.
BOOKS
The theme this month (something I think will extend to every month) has been finally reading things that I, for some reason or another, put off for way too long. Particularly, I have been reevaluating my lifelong fascination with horror and trying to articulate why I’m drawn to it, in what contexts it excites me, terrifies me, disgusts me. When am I impressed by a horror film, book, image? And when do I think it falls flat, and why? What purpose does horror serve for me? As both a creator and a lover of art.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
FANFICTION
I read a few great fics at the end of December/early January, but being that I’ve struggled to publish this review until March lol, I’m only going to highlight one fic in great detail. For the other two, please take my ao3 reviews as commentary and recommendation.
( Read more... )
Song of the Month
BOOM by NCT Dream
On January 9th, Liz and I went to NCT 127’s concert in Chicago and it strongly reinvigorated my interest in NCT at large. I’ve been an on-again off-again fan since 2018, and as I re-listened to songs I hadn’t heard in a while I remembered Boom. That addictive pre-chorus alternating between Chenle/Haechan and then Haechan/Renjun reminds me of a SHINee song structure, in that Jongyu often alternate significant pre-chorus parts with similar melodies. I feel the same way about the bridge, which just gives me chills. Haechan’s part especially makes me think of Jonghyun, and I’ve been comparing their voices a lot lately as I’ve listened to NCT more frequently. They both have a unique vocal color/style and the innate ability to project their voices, take center stage, and inflect every verse with emotionality.
Wrap-up
Now that I’ve finally finished this review…let’s hope the next one is a lot shorter or else I will continue to be a month behind! Overall, in January I made a lot of personal progress with my reading goals for this year. Although I didn’t write any of my own fiction, I felt inspired by what I read and took a critical look at how what I read impacted me intellectually and emotionally. February was a bit different and challenging, but every month (and every day really) is the opportunity to discover and enjoy something new, so that’s the mindset I’m carrying with me into March and into the writing process of my February review. :)
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